It was somewhere in the middle of some month…when I started peeing…
I remember I was standing in front of this very cute wall…that wall was very yellow…the kind of yellow which kind of blends in with the color of your own pee…yes…I know its kind of disgusting in a pervert-ish way but let me tell you it is NOT…..that wall had some patterns, I can’t remember them exactly but it seemed as if someone had hand-painted them.
I remember, I was looking up at the sky..it was also a little bit yellow but in a melancholic way…as if the sky wanted to say something to me…something very funny…something which had the schoolboy humor in it…I could see or sense the schoolboy grin on the face of the yellowish sky..the sky had all the sad stars on it..as if all the stars wanted to fall…they were just dangling there…let me tell you that ‘dangling’ is not a very nice thing to do…but all those stars, they kept on doing it..they dangled as if they were on some kind of punishment..
I kept on looking at the sky while listening to the sound of the pee-stream…I know its disgusting but somehow it sounded really beautiful…after all it was my own pee-sound…it sounded like mozart to me…or some other classical music…like thousand violins, played on thousand small pebbles…at some moment I thought I was listening to Ella Fitzerald’s Summertime…but it was just my own pee-sound..and the sight of the dangling stars on the yellowish sky…it was sheer beauty…I must be fairly drunk (of course), that’s the reason I kept on peeing..I could hear all those pebble-stones who were taking a shower-bath in my pee, it felt as if they were cheering and they all seemed like they were all enjoying it..I could see the sparkling floor, I forgot where I was..I started thinking about my life…My life which kind of flowed in the same manner as my pee-stream flowed…with no direction…with no aim…with no interception…I could not control it..I kept on thinking about all the lovers which I ever had…they all claimed something or the other…they all tried to show me some other world…but all those worlds were the same…I stayed the same…they all stayed the same…they all melted and crumbled in the same way…when they dismantled they all looked the same to me…they never had faith in themselves…I never had faith in me…I never had faith in anything except my natural acts..If I could get my routine sleep or my routine yawns or my routine appetite, I felt as if I was the happiest man alive..
I told all those girls who rejected me, I told them that they will regret one day..and when I was peeing I thought this was the day I warned them about. I could not stop peeing…I kept on peeing..I realized that I was standing on some kind of very cheap very small wooden boat..I looked around and there was noone else except me…I kept on peeing..
All I could see was a yellow ocean..I was in the middle of this stinky ocean..I was looking up at the stars..all the stars looked so tragic…they all looked unwanted..they all had something to say but they were not getting their chance…I looked at them in a way which was kind of ‘condescending’ but one star asked me the meaning of that word and I just shook my head and shrugged my shoulders..I forgot the meaning of the word…I forgot the meaning of the meaning-ness..I forgot that I was still peeing…what was happening to me?…it was a very natural thing to do..but somehow it disgusted me…somehow the thought of me peeing in this yellowish ocean under the yellowish sky disgusted me..I had to close my eyes because the yellowish ocean started emitting a golden kind of light…it felt as if the whole ocean had started glowing…and I could feel the shivers in my spine..my boat on which I was standing and peeing, started shivering…I could see ripples growing in the ocean..ripples turned into waves and waves started shaking the boat. I kept on peeing..I could see a very strong glowing yellowish wave approaching..I turned my whole body towards it and took a long deep breath…I pee-ed with full force on that huge wave…at the end I had to close my eyes and that wave gulped me and my boat..I stopped peeing…when I opened my eyes, I saw the world glowing as if everything had been made of gold..there were golden trees and golden birds and golden mountains..I could see a golden river, flowing far far away…a golden train was approaching at some golden station..a golden world full of golden hopes and golden rejections.